Single Parenting is Hard

Disclaimer: I am still happily married to the father of my children, who provides financial and emotional support as much as the six hour time difference allows, so I recognize I do not face many challenges truly single parents do.

I'm into my first month as a single parent. For three days in the first week I tried to get to the grocery store but by the time I got home from work, cooked dinner, fed the kids and myself, cleaned up and spent a few decent moments with them, it was their bedtime. I could have gone to the store then, and one night I did pop out for milk and bread, but generally the remaining hour before my own bedtime was filled with dishes so we had clean things to eat from in the morning, a bit of work I had brought home in returning for leaving a bit early, other chores and maybe a shower.

My work day is pretty solidly 8 hours, plus 1/2 hour lunch and the 20 minutes or so it takes to get there or back. My children do plenty of chores, from dishes to laundry to cleaning the bathroom on the weekend. On the evening that we came the closest to running out of food we just had sandwiches for dinner. In the world of actual hardship, mine barely registers.

And yet.

Single parenting is hard.

When one child is completely melting down and needs my full attention for an entire hour, dinner doesn't get made. The other child's needs are ignored. Lunches aren't planned, dishes aren't cleaned, and everything waits until the storm passes. The evening logistics become especially challenging because children have a relatively short window for all that must be packed in between coming home from school and going to bed, and generally the adult things need to just wait. The work day is crunched back into eight hours - for the last few months it had been expanding longer and longer - so now there is always a small anxiety that something there is being missed or forgotten.

Bless the people who do this without an end in sight. Bless the people who do this with younger children, unreliable transportation to work, erratic or long work hours, a rush hour commute.

Saalberg Roman Fort

On Labor Day weekend (not a holiday for the kids) we ventured over to Bad Homburg to check out the Roman fort. Having spent time in northern England, and from reading Rick Riordan books, we thought we were pretty well versed in all things ancient Roman empire.

The fort does a really good job with presenting what life must have been like for the Romans living in Germany. There were exhibits, for example, showing how they made shoes - from cutting the leather, to the kinds of thread used (boar bristle) to the nails used to attach the sole onto the upper.

There was also an exhibition and lesson of how to properly throw a spear. We would have been failed recruits of the Roman army, but it was fun and interesting nevertheless.

There was also this room of life-sized paintings where people could put themselves into the picture. And a trunk of "Roman" clothes for people to dress up, if they chose, while doing so.

Farming is hard

We stopped for lunch in the museum's restaurant, which had been billed as having traditional Roman cuisine. I think my mushrooms sauteed in honey and I forget what else, served with bread and a soft cheese loaded with herbs, was probably a relatively authentic option. The kids' schnitzel ... maybe not so much.

Zoltan had forgotten his fleece so he and I shared mine, so we may have cut the day a bit shorter than if we had all been warmer. The kids insisted on stopping at the gift shop, where each one procured a new implement for the arsenal.

Oh, and I got tenure on Friday

Other than teaching and the foreign service I'm not sure of too many other professions that have a tenure process. Essentially, it is when an employer agrees that it no longer holds the right to fire you absent seriously egregious behavior and sometimes not even then.

In the foreign service, generalists have five years from the day they start A-100 to be granted tenure. The first assessment is at the third year of service, the second assessment is about a year later, and the third assessment is 6 months later. If it's "three strikes you're out",  then by the five year anniversary the employee is heading to his or her "separation address" - which most of us consider the place we want the Department to send our stuff when we retire.

Roughly 40% of employees are tenured on their first look. There are certain requirements that must be met before a person can even be considered, such as language training and Consular work (or being in the process; for example one colleague of mine was tenured in her second month of consular work and I know people have received tenure when they have not yet completed their first experience with language training). I'd have to guess, but it is something like 90% are tenured on their second look.

It has become something of a tradition for these lists to come out on Friday DC-time-zone evenings, ostensibly for people to have the weekend to get over disappointment. The rumor mill had been working feverishly this time, with all expectations that it would happen the Friday before Labor Day.

And this time the rumors were right. So Saturday morning I woke to a few notes of congratulations, checked to  be sure and it was in fact true.

ol' Uncle Sam has saddled himself with me.

Rüdesheim

With the advent of the children, the tourism has commenced. Before Terry left we managed a trip out to Rüdesheim to do the usual "rundfahrt" or round trip: a cable car ride up to the Germania monument, celebrating the unification of Germany.

Then the 45 or so minute hike with lots of stopoffs for things to see ...

 ... then over to the chairlift ride down to the Rhine river and the town of Bingen, where one catches a ferry back to Rüdesheim.

The Eclipse

July 27 saw the longest lunar eclipse in a hundred years. Although I hear the US wasn't able to see it, it was supposed to be well visible from Europe. Around the time it was supposed to start, I started wandering around looking for the moon. Between trees and buildings, I couldn't see anything. I checked in with friends and neighbors here in Frankfurt and for a good hour there was no news. Then someone mentioned it was visible. I ran out.

Not having a videocamera or a high quality camera of any kind, I had to capture it on my Smartphone. Although the photos were nothing at all, the videos at least caught the essence of what was going on. In the first video the moon is clearly reddish. By the end, the moon was passing out of our shadow and becoming much lighter, brighter and whiter.

Yes, the quality sucks. But it was cool to see it.

Which reminds me that back in November a friends mentioned that the International Space Station would be visible overhead in the DC area, and the kids and I went out to watch it pass.  Didn't capture that one at all, but it was pretty cool.

Around 11:15pm

Idstein

The food at the Burg Eltz cafe didn't appeal to me so I decided to stop somewhere on my way home. I had heard Idstein was a pretty city to visit so had it in mind. Hadn't really thought through that it's an hour away from Burg Eltz and I only left there close to 2pm ... suffice it to say I was hungry and grumpy when I got to town.

Most of the restaurants were closed in mid-afternoon but I found one that was open and not too far from where I parked and I tried a potato-and-bean-pancake (like a latke but with some kind of small white bean among the potato, presumably to protein it up). It was very tasty and the radler I had with it was refreshing so I was ready to hit the town after I ate.

The main sight in Idstein is the "Hexenturm" or Witch's Tower. Unless my German is way worse than I think it is, you can go to the tourist info center and ask for the key to go inside. When I wandered past the building there was a tour guide just closing up, but I plan to visit the town again so it wasn't a big deal not to get inside.

The town is filled well amazingly well preserved, colorfully painted half-timber housed. I may have mentioned this before but I am beyond charmed by half-timbered houses.

 It looks like it's falling down, because of the angle of the timbers.

That is not a real cat on the side of the house