My kids bicker and fight. Yes, most siblings do, but mine always seem to take it up a notch. We've tried numerous solutions, involving both carrots and sticks (metaphorical, folks, metaphorical sticks) and not one thing ever worked.
Then we tried a points system. They get a point for being kind or helpful to each other, for doing chores, eating unfavored dinners without complaint, and just generally helping us. The get points taken away for being rude, for fighting, for complaining about chores. If they make it to 2 points by an appointed time each day (somewhere between the end of dinner and the start of getting-ready-for-bed) they get a treat/dessert. The size of the sweet is dependent on the number of points (4 points gets twice the treats of 2). After 2 points they can trade points for extra allowance instead of dessert if they wish.
Not only has the fighting screeched to a near halt, but they are cooperative and, best of all, simply happier and more loving generally. As these things become habit we'll raise the bar, but for now we are thrilled to realize we actually need to buy more candy because they are earning treats so many days in a row!
Then we tried a points system. They get a point for being kind or helpful to each other, for doing chores, eating unfavored dinners without complaint, and just generally helping us. The get points taken away for being rude, for fighting, for complaining about chores. If they make it to 2 points by an appointed time each day (somewhere between the end of dinner and the start of getting-ready-for-bed) they get a treat/dessert. The size of the sweet is dependent on the number of points (4 points gets twice the treats of 2). After 2 points they can trade points for extra allowance instead of dessert if they wish.
Not only has the fighting screeched to a near halt, but they are cooperative and, best of all, simply happier and more loving generally. As these things become habit we'll raise the bar, but for now we are thrilled to realize we actually need to buy more candy because they are earning treats so many days in a row!
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